I’ve been giving a few talks at Meetup groups recently about Calm REBEL Leadership and one part seems to have really resonated.
A lot of people identify with the first trap: Drifting.
A common response is: “I didn’t realise I’d drifted so much.”
That’s probably because Drifting rarely looks dramatic. It shows up as small compromises in who we are, what we believe, and what we stand for in our leadership.
In the moment, they look sensible. Flexible. Pragmatic. Like being a good team player and not causing a fuss…
“Just this once…” you tell yourself.
Sometimes that is exactly the right thing to do. The trouble is that drifting has a way of becoming invisible. One day you’re adapting and, before you know it, you’re complying.
A little later, you can’t quite remember when you stopped saying what you really think.
The first thing to know is that this is normal. Not every drift is dangerous, but some are worth interrupting.
In the book, Emma stops her drift by remembering what is important to her as a leader and putting those aspects of her leadership into clearer view.
She remembered, when she was at her best she:
- tells the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
- makes work feel meaningful, not just efficient.
- doesn’t let cynicism win.
By remembering this and putting a sticky note on her wall and notebook to keep it in view, she could ask herself:
- Would truth-telling Emma stay silent in this meeting?
- Would meaningful-work Emma go along with this just to keep the peace?
- Would don’t-let-cynicism-win Emma shrug and say, “that’s just how it is”?
The trick isn’t never to drift. It’s to notice sooner.
To catch that moment where you realise: I’ve been moving with the current for a while now.
Do I still want to be going this way?
