In this episode of the Agile Skills Library, Paul Goddard and Geoff Watts explore emotional intelligence and why it has become a critical skill for modern teams, coaches, and leaders working in complex, less hierarchical environments.
They unpack the core elements of emotional intelligence — self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation, and social skills — drawing on Daniel Goleman’s work and practical experience from coaching, facilitation, and improv.
The episode includes a simple, practical exercise (“Emotions, Emotions, Emotions”) that teams can use in retrospectives or workshops to expand emotional vocabulary, build empathy, and improve how people read and respond to one another. Paul and Geoff also discuss intuition, psychological safety, and how emotional intelligence shows up differently in neurodiverse teams.
Listeners will come away with a clearer understanding of how emotional intelligence supports collaboration, trust, and adaptability — along with a downloadable exercise to help teams start practicing these skills safely.
Paul Goddard:
Hello, listeners, and welcome to the Agile Skills Library. I’m Paul Goddard, here with my good friend Geoff Watts.
Over the years, we’ve collected hundreds of techniques and skills, and in this podcast we share our favourites. In every episode, there’s something new to try — and usually some downloadable content to help you put it into practice.
In this episode, Geoff and I are talking about emotional intelligence. You’ll hear a bit of theory from some very clever psychologists, along with our own tips and techniques for coaching this within teams.
And if you stay right to the end, we’ve got a free exercise you can use with your team to get started with this properly.
So — welcome, Geoff. How are you?
Geoff Watts:
I’m doing alright. I’m feeling good today.
Paul Goddard:
Excellent — and I like the jumper as well.
Geoff Watts:
Brand new. Post-Christmas present to myself. I waited for the sales.
Paul Goddard:
So just from that, I’m picking up that you’re feeling comfortable — and maybe a little bit proud?
Geoff Watts:
Yeah, I feel comfortable. And the newness just makes you feel positive.
Paul Goddard:
That’s a lovely segue into today’s topic: emotional intelligence.
Why do you think this matters, Geoff? Why does it make the podcast playlist?
Geoff Watts:
For me, a lot of organisations are trying to get the benefits of agility in a world that’s uncertain and less hierarchical.
That means I can’t rely on a manager to tell my teammate what to do. I need to work with them. Build rapport. Understand what’s going on for them.
Those human-to-human awareness and connection skills are absolutely crucial.
Paul Goddard:
Especially now, in an AI-driven world, where we need to stay connected as humans. It’s very easy for this stuff to get pushed aside when tools and automation take centre stage.
Paul Goddard:
A lot of my thinking on emotional intelligence originally came from the world of improv — watching how improvisers collaborate, connect, and respond emotionally in real time.
From there, I dug into Daniel Goleman’s work on emotional intelligence. He describes five core elements:
1. Self-awareness
Understanding the emotions you’re experiencing yourself.
Most of us default to “good” or “bad”, but emotional intelligence requires a richer vocabulary.
2. Self-regulation
Once you recognise an emotion, can you manage it?
Can you notice when it’s getting the better of you and adjust accordingly?
3. Empathy
Understanding and interpreting emotions in other people — not just yourself.
4. Motivation
Understanding what drives your emotions. What raises or lowers your emotional energy?
5. Social skills
How you interact with others — and how you adapt your behaviour in teams and social settings.
Paul Goddard:
Let’s make this practical with a game. Geoff, you’re going to be my guinea pig.
This exercise comes from improvisation, and I learned it from Paul Z. Jackson. It’s called “Emotions, Emotions, Emotions.”
The goal is to explore emotional expression in a safe, playful way.
First, as a group, you brainstorm as many emotions as you can and write them on a flip chart.
Next, each person writes down a phrase they’re well known for saying at work.
Geoff — you’ve done that, right?
Geoff Watts:
I have. With help from Google.
Paul Goddard:
Perfect.
Now, you’ll say that phrase three times — each time using a different emotion from your list. You don’t tell us which emotion you’re using.
Go.
Geoff Watts:
That’s interesting.
Paul Goddard:
Okay — same phrase again, but a contrasting emotion.
Geoff Watts:
That’s interesting.
Paul Goddard:
And this time, I’ll choose the emotion: contempt.
Geoff Watts:
That’s interesting.
Paul Goddard:
Excellent.
The debrief is where the learning happens:
The emotions you pick first are often the ones you’re most comfortable expressing.
You can also add an empathy layer by asking the group to guess which emotion was being used.
Paul Goddard:
If that feels like too much, simplify it.
Instead of a phrase, just use the word “What?” and repeat the exercise.
Geoff Watts:
What?
Paul Goddard:
That’s your excited face.
Geoff Watts:
I get told that a lot.
Geoff Watts:
So when would you use this exercise?
Paul Goddard:
I use it a lot in retrospectives. Even just listing emotions gives people permission to talk about how things felt, not just what happened.
I also use it in facilitation training — helping people learn to read a room and pick up emotional signals.
Geoff Watts:
I use it in coaching. Naming emotions — or checking them — helps clients reflect more deeply.
“I might be wrong, but you’re coming across as frustrated…”
If that’s how it lands with me, it might be landing that way with others too.
Paul Goddard:
This links closely to intuition. Emotional intelligence often involves a bit of risk — sensing something and naming it.
If you get it right, it builds trust. If not, it still opens conversation.
Geoff Watts:
There’s an important distinction here. Empathy is learnable. Intuition feels riskier, but empathy can be developed through practice — and yes, by sometimes getting it wrong.
Empathy isn’t about projecting yourself into someone else’s situation. It’s about letting go of yourself and focusing fully on them.
Paul Goddard:
This question comes up a lot: how does this land for neurodiverse teams?
I’m not an expert, but what I’ve seen is that different elements of emotional intelligence land differently.
For example:
That doesn’t mean these exercises shouldn’t be used — it means psychological safety matters even more.
Geoff Watts:
I don’t think there’s really such a thing as “neurotypical.” We all find different aspects of human interaction difficult.
Small, frequent check-ins help.
“Where’s my head today?”
“What’s going on for me right now?”
The more often we do it, the safer it becomes.
Paul Goddard:
This can be a delicate topic — which is why play matters.
One team I worked with found this exercise so uncomfortable that it opened a deeper conversation about neurodiversity and how to support each other better.
That alone made it worthwhile.
We’re sharing a small downloadable canvas to help teams start these conversations gently and safely.
So subscribe, share the podcast, and we’ll see you again very soon in the Agile Skills Library.
Geoff Watts:
Bye, Paul.